How Are You Really?

If I were to say, “Hey, how are you?” what would you say?

Most of us respond with something like, “I’m good! How are you?” And the exchange ends there. When we ask “How are you?” we rarely mean it, and we rarely answer it honestly. In fact, if someone actually starts telling the truth, it can get a little awkward.

It’s not because we’re liars. It’s usually because we know the other person doesn’t really want to know, we don’t want to expose what’s actually going on, or, more often than we realize, we don’t really know how we’re doing ourselves.

But a counselor asking that same question is different. When they ask, “How are you?” they mean it. They’re not making small talk, they’re actually want to know how you're doing. Why? Because they're helping you look beneath the surface and understand what’s really happening inside, sometimes even before you’re aware of it yourself.

And that’s the truth for most of us. There are thoughts, fears, and patterns shaping us, and we haven’t slowed down long enough to notice. We often need help to see ourselves clearly.

Tomorrow we’re looking at one of Jesus’ most famous parables, about two men who go to pray. One is religious but blind to his own heart. The other is painfully honest and dependent on God. Jesus shows us that the difference isn’t religion or morality, but a real honesty understanding of ourselves and our need for God.

Jesus is inviting us to tell the truth about ourselves before God. And surprisingly, that kind of honesty isn’t terrifying. It’s freeing.