The Song That Gave Us Social Media

Little-known fact about me: I woke up early on Monday morning, April 6, 1992, to watch the premiere episode of Barney. Even at seven years old, I wasn’t particularly impressed. But at the end of the episode, a song played that has been burned into my memory ever since. You probably know it:
 
“I love you.
You love me.
We’re a happy family.
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you,
won’t you say you love me too?”
 
It sounds like a sweet, innocent little tune. But a Stanford professor named Clifford Nass once suggested, half jokingly, that it may have caused irreparable harm to society. Okay, that might be overstating it, but Nass pointed out something fascinating hidden in the lyrics.
 
First, a fictional, virtual character on a screen, someone I’ve never met, can love me. Second, I apparently love him back. I didn’t even get a choice. It’s just assumed. Third, we’re suddenly a “family”: me, some other kids on TV, and a purple dinosaur. It gives new meaning to the idea of a blended family. And fourth, we can hug and kiss, virtually, through a screen.
 
Nass believes this subtly prepared us for the digital age we now live in, where more and more of our relationships happen through screens and the real world slowly becomes secondary. We exchange hugs, hearts, love, and friendship through a black mirror we carry in our pockets. And here’s the key insight Nass uncovered: multitasking is a myth. If we give our attention to digital relationships, we cannot give our attention to real ones. No matter how capable we think we are, we can’t fully attend to two things at once.
 
In a world filled with attention-stealing apps, constant notifications, and buzzing watches, we need to touch grass and return our attention to the things that matter most.
 
Tomorrow, we’ll look at the classic story of Mary and Martha. Both women love Jesus. Both want to do the right thing. But only one gives her attention to what matters most in that moment. If you’re in need of an attention reset like I am, join us tomorrow at Arborway.